Friday, May 31, 2013

The ultimate baddest female showdown

Since the cool concept right now for female idols is "Bad girls," let's see who rocks it best. Because we can.

Also because I've noticed a disturbing trend here at Anti Kpop-Fangirl in which we've been talking an awful lot about music and talent lately. Whatever happened to judging idols based on their looks? Dammit, that's what I signed on for.


Go on with your badass selves.


Thursday, May 30, 2013

Why We All Get Fucked by SM's Lack of Originality

For a couple of days now, SM has been teasing us with hints of finally debuting a new male soloist. That shit would have been the first male soloist from SM since Kangta, almost 13 years ago. 13 years. You know what happened 13 years ago? Not Y2K, but that's beside the point.

At any rate, that was a long ass fucking time ago, so for SM to pull something like this certainly surprised everyone.

Long essay post inc., beware.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

CL - THE JJANGBAKEST FEMALE



So innovative, so legendary. Step aside Hyori, because the REAL MOTHER FUCKING QUEEN OF KPOP IS HERE (in a world where BoA doesn't exist.)

Monday, May 27, 2013

Hyori Fucking Sucks



What do you get when an artist loves herself so much that she begins to believe in her own delusions that she's actually the Queen of Kpop? You get Lee-Fucking-Hyori. In a world where Hyori's fans pretends that BoA doesn't exist, we have this sorry excuse for the "Queen of Kpop". Jesus Christ, I have three songs to review for this article and I already want to blow my fucking brains out while listening to Miss Korea. Times like this, I wish I drank alcohol, because I need something to get me through the next 15 minutes of torture. If you want to laugh at my misery, read on.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

With this nose, I thee wed...

So if you didn't know, Naeun got a new schnoz.
 

Most A Pink fans have realized this already with divided opinions. I personally think it wasn't anything major, it just looks like fillers, possibly something she could have reserved easily. She looks less unique now and I guess you'd say it's less "cute" looking, although she is still hella cute if you check out anything from her recent performances but personal preference will ultimately rule.

The real question is "Why?" Everyone knows she was one of the prettiest idols out there, nothing really called for tempering, so some guessed that perhaps she wanted a more regal look to get more lead roles in dramas rather than supporting "teen" character roles. Well you may have already guessed from the title, but I figured out the real reason...

Support T-ara N4 in the U.S.



Please stay in the U.S. T-ara. I had no idea Eunjung could twerk it like that.

How Is 4minute Winning?

So, every week I see 4minute win at least one music show. I just don't fucking understand it. It's the worst song released this year and it's akin to getting crapped on by Cartman.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Lucky A Pink Fan



The dude had great composure. At the very least, he wasn't like a Taeyeon fan.

If I was there in place of that guy, who knows what I would have done with Eunji there. I don't know, I'd probably react like Troy Barnes.

Friday, May 24, 2013

I've Been Into Kpop For Five Years Now



Five years is a long time when it comes to music since things change so quickly. Five years ago, Kpop was a lot different than it is today. I started listening to it right before the idol boom, so I got into it during Kpop's transition period where solo artists were dominant to where idol groups are dominant. 

Yes, I posted a Japanese song even though I dislike most of the Japanese music I hear. However, this is how I really got into Kpop. Way back when Inuyasha aired on [adult swim], I heard BoA's Every Heart and thought she was Japanese. Same with Younha when I heard her song Houki Boshi for Bleach. I never really became fans of either of them, but just liked those two songs. When I discovered m-flo's the Love Bug, I became hooked on BoA and m-flo. I learned a lot about both of them and found out that both BoA and Verbal were Korean. That lead me to listening to BoA's Korean songs and I found out that Verbal had collaborated with plenty of Korean artists under m-flo and as a solo artist.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Hyomin Bullies My Eyes With Her Cleavage


Man, T-ara can't stop bullying, can they? First they bullied Hwayoung, next they bullied Chris Brown and his entourage, and now Hyomin is bullying us with her cleavage. What a whorse. 

Yuri Shows Off Cleavage For Cosmopolitan


The Soompi article says she's showing off her waist and legs, but SONEs aren't going to be paying attention to that when there's cleavage to be seen.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Minah Receives A Facial On Stage


Man, she really wants the D.

VOTE DANI FOR BEST NEW B.E.T. SUPERSTAR

T-ara N4 + Dani are going to be at the BET Awards but no one gives a shit about those other 4 bitches since DANI is going to share the stage with CHRIS BROWN.

EYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~
HYPHY

Is There A Solution For T-ara, Who Receives Criticism Not Matter What They Do?

So I was reading this article on Nate since it was plastered on the front page of the entertainment section.

My first reaction was "no, there will never be a concrete plan of action that T-ara can take to rectify the situation."

As long as Korean netizens enjoy the "power" they currently have, there's nothing T-ara can do about this. Netizens clamor for "reflection periods" all of the time. Some will say they work, pointing to Daesung's case as an example. "That mother fucker ran over someone because God ran over his face at birth, but it's okay because he reflected. But wait, reflection periods are useless.


Lee Hyori's Panties Causes A Controversy


No, not really, but she'll be slut shamed or something for showing her panties. Anyway, enjoy this Hyori pic while I write about another article that's longer than three sentences. But hey, if your eyes actually wandered away from the picture and you actually read the text, congrats.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Hyosung is an Ilbe Whore!


She's showing off her panties, thus confirming that she's an Ilbe whore. She's trying to democratize my eyes. Filthy whore*.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Yuri To Be In A Movie


Via Soompi:

Girl’s Generation member Yuri has been confirmed to star in a movie, alongside Lee Jong Suk and Seo In Gook. The film is called “No Breathing” and will be about a “swimming genius” who distances himself from swimming, played by Seo In Guk, and a rising star swimmer, played by Lee Jong Suk. Yuri will play the role of “Jung Eun,” who dreams of becoming a musician.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

CL to have a solo single



This may be one of the few times in Kpop where my mouth throws up instead of my penis when it comes to girl groups. CL's voice is as annoying as fuck when she raps plus she's barely hot enough to be a contestant in Miss Roadkill. I'd rather have Dara release another solo single. At least that shit would be hilarious.

Hyosung's "Controversy"

Yes, Big Tits Hyosung has a controversy in Korea right now over the dumbest of things in the world.

Did she have a nip slip?!?!?!?! Sadly, no, as our buddy at fiddle.se would have been the first one to gif that if it had actually happened.

Hearing Problems - 4minute and G-Dragon Reviews





It can't be just a coincidence that I have developed some temporary hearing problems after trying to review these two pieces of shit. I know that I make jokes saying that some idol songs are harmful because they suck that much ass, but having two super shitty songs coming out so close to each other has given me some slight hearing problems, which is why I have yet to review the other songs/MVs yet. Now, let's go into what elements in each of these pieces of shit that may have caused my hearing loss.

Monday, May 13, 2013

FACES AFTER SEX!


AFTER YOU MAKE LOVE TO YOUR FAVORITE IDOL! THIS IS THE FACE THEY WILL MAKE. CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE FACE AND TELL US WHY THEY'D MAKE THAT FACE. THEY'RE NOT NUMBERED....(I'M TOO LAZY FOR THAT SHIT). JUST TELL ME WHO AND WHY THEY'D MAKE THAT FACE.

THIS  IS MINE! WHY?  BECAUSE SHE SAW HOW SMALL MY DICK WAS YET WAS SHOCKED HOW LARGE IT FELT IN HER BUTTHOLE!

PIC WAS TAKEN DURING PENETRATION!


OMOMOMOMOMOM

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Rainbow - Tell Me Tell Me At Dream Concert



"Why hasn't AKF written about Chris Brown and T-ara yet? Why hasn't he reviewed the 900 MVs that came out in the past two weeks?"

Well, Hyunyoung's tits look too nice in this outfit for me to write about anything else Kpop related at the moment.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Question of the Week 72

This week's question comes from an anonymous asker from my ask.fm:
What would make you unfollow kpop?

Thanks for your submission!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Sometimes things don't always work out the way you want them

Hey Fish Faggots!

Apparently Snoop Dog met Minzy the other day. I didn't read the article at Soompi (I never do) but I'm guessing from the pictures they traded food recipes, snuggled, watched Good Burger, then smoked two flatty boombatty blunts.Then at night, Snoop took Minzy to his bed, whipped out his big black penis and ballz and began thrusting it deep down  Minzy's luscious creamy white butthole and mouth. As he thrusted (and I assure you he thursted hard as fuck ), I am 100% positive Minzy gagged and threw up all over his nuts and butthole. Then she smoked more weed to get the taste of jizz and curly pubes out of her mouth! 

U Jelly!? U should be....you'll never get to put it in her booty like Snoop did the other day!

Consequently, I'm guessing his dick was so big it stretched her voice box out too--next 2ne1 album I swear to Jesus Christ her voice will sound a lot deeper than it already is. That's what big black penises, weed, and Good Burger do to poor little teenage Korean girls. U mad!?


Who are we kidding? There was no sex advancements from any party? Snoop Dogg probably gave her advice on how to rap her mouth around his balls and perform oral sex.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Drink up, girls!


Gahi's failing solo career has lead her to drink.


< insert "drinking semen" joke here from every male on this site >

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Lee Seung Gi Grabs the Bae Suzy

How anyone thought Suzy could pretend to be a boy, let alone think giving her another prominent drama role was a good idea, is beyond me. I mean come on, her face isn't mannish, she's very attractive in the traditional feminine sense, and she's not built like a beanpole. 

Whatever the logic is, Lee Seung Gi still manages to get to second base in one of the latest episodes of whatever  shit they're starring in at the moment.

HOW IS THAT AT ALL BOYISH?

Monday, May 6, 2013

Tiffany To Retire From SNSD To Become A MLB Pitcher



Tiffany Hwang threw out the first pitch tonight and she has been signed by the Houston Astros to be their ace. Houston Astros General Manager Jeff Luhnow had an exclusive interview with the Anti-Kpop Fangirl reporting team. Seeing that I'm a huge Tigers fan and the Tigers just whipped the living shit out of the Astros this past weekend, Mr. Luhnow thought this would be the perfect time to have an interview, mixing in Kpop and baseball.

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 29



Best Yahoo K-pop fangirl there was.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

The Shure Super 55 microphone test - does your bias fail it? Probably.

If you casually browse any forum devoted to k-pop, you'll quickly see that there's a lot of nonsense going around the place about the relative talents of vocalists, as if vocal talent is a criteria that actually means something in this style.  I mean, come on people, since when was vocal talent suddenly a requirement to make production-line pop music?  I must have missed the latest memo that was circulated on that topic, because it seems that there's tons of fans fighting over who can sing better and who is the most knowledgeable and talented musically, versus who is just a nugu to music that is just being told what to say, what to play, how to stand, where to go, and is the musical equivalent of the "airhead" reporter on Broadcast News (decent film from the 80s, worth a look) who just reads lines from cue and smiles and doesn't know what the fuck he's actually on about or what any of the news stories really mean. Of course, most k-pop fans believe that their bias COULD NEVER BE LIKE THAT and is THE BEST EVAAAR AND KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT MUSIC, so I thought that even though I personally have no vested interest in this topic whatsoever, it would be interesting to devise a test to set the record straight and see how much they really do know.  Even better, I thought, if this test didn't require any knowledge of actual music production or vocal skill on the part of  the tester or even any listening to the songs and anybody with access to a computer could do it in an instant.

I have devised just such a test, and I'm going to break it down for you in a nice long tl;dr post only because I know you're all into that sort of thing here at AKFG.  Details after the jump.

How to: Be forgettable, as told by Hello Venus

Hello Venus' latest song is, well, I forget.



INFINITE's Sunggyu replaces Brown Eyed Girls' Ga-In as eyeliner icon


"On the February 27th broadcast of MBC‘s ‘Radio Star‘, Sunggyu featured as a guest and surprised viewers with his unexpected obsession with eyeliner. MC Yoo Sae Yoon revealed, “There is a rumor that to Sunggyu, eyeliner is his soulmate to the point that he can tell Ga In to step back.”

Sunggyu then explained himself, saying, “Ever since I was little, my eyes were really small. My mom’s eyes are like that as well. So if I don’t wear eyeliner, I feel like I’m missing something. Eyeliner became an important part of me. It’s kind of a performance.”

~*~*~

I'm sorry. Is this what we have come to? This is news, Allkpop?

All I can say is: