Sunday, September 25, 2016

Crayon Pop - Doo Doo Shit



I made it five seconds. New record for me for the shortest time I've ever listened to a Kpop song. The beat that starts off the song is really, really awful, and knowing Crayon Pop's awful track record (FM aside), I knew I didn't want any more.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Healthy porn for men - deconstructing dog-whistle concepts in k-pop

Recently, a producer of the idol TV show "Produce 101" came out and openly admitted what I'd already known and had been telling people for years - that the show (and by implication, all idol groups with a similar theme) is basically jack-off material, or "healthy porn for men" as he describes it.  Several people were shocked - could this be true?  How come they hadn't noticed?  More importantly, how to identify this "healthy porn"?  Come on a journey with Kpopalypse into the world of dog-whistle concepts!

dogwhistlehead

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

NCT Dream - Chewing Gum



I really fucking hate this song. I tried listening to it three weeks ago when it came out, but I was so traumatized that I gave up after 30 seconds. Knowing that I had to spread the word about how awful this song is, three weeks later I'm listening to this song the whole way through. Can I make it?


Monday, September 19, 2016

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Cheng Xiao's Pitch


Everyone remembers Jessica and Tiffany's pitches specifically for how...not so great they were. However I can see Cheng Xiao being known for how good hers was.

How AKF Ruined AOA - Part Two



[Author note: Enjoy these bite-sized fanfics so that I can post them more frequently during my business trips.]

Link to Part One.

The story so far: AKF had gone to Taiwan to have an orgy with Popu Lady, but he was raped by a fat prostitute that had every STD known to man. AKF tried committing suicide, but the Cyclops Overlord saved him. AKF then went to Korea to search for this mythical creature, but ended up getting sucked up in a f(x)/SNSD conspiracy plot with Kpopalypse that ended up with AKF blowing himself up, taking out Brave Brothers. AKF and Brave Brothers return to Earth, and AKF was on his journey of finding a replacement penis. At last, AKF found a match, but it was none other than Johnny Noh.